He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
