I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
