I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
