I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
