You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
