When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
