You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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