Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
