my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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