Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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