You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
