His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
