Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
