he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
