Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
