5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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