I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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