Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
