His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize