Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
