He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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