S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
