worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
