what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize