First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize