STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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