Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize