my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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