Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize