It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Boobs are out for the taking
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
