Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
