Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
