Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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