Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
