Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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