belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
