Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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