Rock
Scissors
Fuck
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Never joke about your clitoris.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
