Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
