His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
