dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it glows. i had to have it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
