I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
