He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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