she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
