omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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