i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize