Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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