found the other keg... it's in the tree
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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