when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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