doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
