be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
