So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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