You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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