I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
