Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
