I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
