Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
