we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
