Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
