"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
