Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So vagazzling was a success
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
