She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
